In my humble opinion, some of us are dealt more than a human being should be expected to handle. When one major trauma is enough to derail a life, and another happens that causes injury, and while trying to deal with that, another happens that makes one feel unsafe even in the present, then I say, “That’s too much!” I want to have a talk with God or Fate or Chance and say it’s just unfair; people are given way more than they can handle.
Miraculously, people handle these blows and still come out fighting. I’ve met them in my writing to heal classes. They are doing everything they can to regain their sense of purpose and participation in life. And writing is key. One participant stunned us by passionately reading the following (excerpted):
I will choose to write or choose to die
I will isolate myself during bouts of agonizing pain spurts, hearing my phone ring without answering crying irrepressibly while life is beating me Or
I WILL WRITE
I will ruminate about everything I lost instead of everything I have and tell myself over and over, “I am useless” … “I am broken”… “I deserve all of this pain”…over and over a gain with the sunrise and sunset because insomnia prevents me from proper rest OR
I WILL WRITE….
I will let my hostility pillage my faith or
I WILL WRITE.
I will allow my emotional state to crack because the tension in my mind and body is wack, sick think like quick sand I will sink deeper into the darkness of depression and anxiety sink deeper and deeper
Slowly suffocating until I lose all that is important in my life today while I’m busy focusing on who I was in all the yesterdays ORRRRR
I will write
I will do what I love to do.
I will write.
I will write. I will write.
Today, right now, I choose. I choose to stand tall, shady legs and all, and stare 12 emotional years of chronic pain that left a stain on my heart right in its face. I will not fall
Time to cleanse. Time to grow. Time to change my brain. Pain will no longer be the identifying factors of who. I. Am. …I am bigger than this.
I AM NOT MY PAIN.
I believe that writing the good, the bad and the ugly life stories will allow me to see the true beauty inside of me. Some days are going to be reeeaaally hard. Reliving some of the many traumatizing moments I have had will take courage. I am making a declaration to myself
Right here Right now.!…
I WILL CHOOSE TO WRITE OR CHOOSE TO DIE
I AM SURRENDERING TO MINDFULNESS
I CHOOSE….I CHOOSE…
I CHOOSE TO WRITE
By Millie Quinones-Dunlap
I wish I could convey her voice to you, which showed up even in the appearance of her text. After her reading, I did believe that writing could save someone’s life. In my classes, we learn about why and how words are necessary to healing from trauma. As a matter of fact, I am currently writing a book called How Writing Heals.
My next Writing to Heal class runs on Monday evenings 7-9 pm starting on October 15. The early bird registration deadline is September 10 ($177); after that it’s $197, $160 for repeat students. Class size is limited, so please call or email me if you want me to save you a seat! (585) 586-1590, firstname.lastname@example.org.